Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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