i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
