He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
