Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
