i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
