Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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