And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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