You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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