i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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