Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
