Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
