I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
