ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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