carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
