This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
