this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
