There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
