No awkward lesbian experiences without me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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