MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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