Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
