Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
