the condom got lost in my hair
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
