You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize