smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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