Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
