when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
