This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
