Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize