Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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