Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize