Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
