everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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