oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He keeps bees of course he's weird
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize