Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
