you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
