You really coming over, don't trick.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
