There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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