non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
