Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
