First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
