my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
