we have officially lost it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
