How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
