...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
