Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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