Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
