I'm going to jail i love you
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
