just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
