Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
