i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
