he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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