What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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