he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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