apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
