talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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