my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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