We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
