what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
