so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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