Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize