I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
sex in a hospital.. check
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
