I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
